


The two different life of one bard

by tan666tan



Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Kaer Morhen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:54:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27333016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tan666tan/pseuds/tan666tan
Summary: I suck at summery but I'm sure it's kinda good so please read itGeralt finally found jaskier, but he realized hes not the only Witcher he knows, a disgustingly fluffy love story between Jaskier and Eskel.REWRITE ITS BETTER NOW
Relationships: Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon & Jaskier | Dandelion, Eskel/Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 10
Kudos: 133





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rewrite, I hope you'll like it, this is really fucking disgustingly fluffy and you know what I'm ok with that

Jaskier couldn’t believe it, for all the luck he had so far distancing himself from any sign of Witcher, he had to come face to face with the only one he never wanted to see again. 

He was currently in Kaedwen, trying to put as much distance between him and Nilfgaard as possible, in a small little tavern, signing is heart out to strangers. Not that life have been easy since the mountains incident, but he was surviving ok so far, telling threats about his “Witcher friend" who was never too far, and nobles about great adventures. It’s not like he could go back and start again, he was Jaskier the greatest bard of the continent telling the tells of Witcher, friends of humanity, he had to keep his face. 

Finishing his set early, he sat at the table on the far corner counting the tips he received for his music, people where getting cheaper and cheaper these days, but with the war at everyone doors he couldn’t blame them. Even for him it was far to dangerous to go back to Oxenfurt, that’s why he was still here in the middle of fall, trying to find a way to winter somewhere and make at least a little bit of coins. 

“Master bard, your friend the Witcher!” someone say in hush tones near his table, he didn’t even deign lifting his head to answer him.  
“I’m sorry dear friend, but I don’t take contract on his behalf.”  
“No master bard, he’s here!”  
At the mention of the Witcher Jaskier looked up from his meal, and of course Geralt was already looking at him. Jask had so many night thinking about what he could possibly say to the man if he ever saw him again, sure he spend the first months self deprecating alone telling himself that everything was his fault and Geralt was probably right, but when the mourn past, the anger settled in. All those thoughts went from apologizing to a good punch in the face, fairly quickly, who was he to have made Geralt’s life so miserable, but a loyal friend. He pick up his coins and lute ready to get as far as possible, because as good as punching Geralt sounded, he didn’t want to bring that much attention on himself, so he walked right past him through the door. 

The cold air grounded him enough to regain his thoughts, and he started walking towards his horse, but a strong grip on his arm stopped him from moving any further. “Ah shit” he thoughts to himself, “here we go". He turn enough to look at him in the eyes, he seemed calm and a bit exhausted, that didn’t stop Jaskier to throw a punch right to his jaw. The bastard didn’t even flinched, the fire and anger inside of him swelled and he couldn’t stop the words from coming out of his mouth. 

“Let go of me you brute! “  
“Jaskier why are you still singing about me?” his voice was firm and he tightening his grip on Jask’s arm.  
“Don’t flatter yourself Geralt, I too need to eat, this as nothing to do about you as a person,” Jaskier scoffed  
“Its too dangerous!”  
“Well it’s a bit late for that now, isn’t it? The whole continent know your name and mine “  
“fine” he looked pain as if just saying the words was hurting him. “you’ll come to Kaer Morhen then, it’s safe and no one will find you there”  
“Excuse me!” He exclaimed finally freeing his arm from the death grip of Geralt. “You have no business telling what to do or where to go!” he said turning around ready to mount his horse and leave him there. Even if going to Kaer Morhen as been is dream since he met the Witcher, nothing could convinced him to follow him without at least an apology.  
“ Ciri.. she told me you visited her often, telling her.. ermm.. stories..” that got him to turn back again, well fuck he thought to himself, nothing except one thing then. Geralt wasn’t looking at him, his eyes where fixed on something behind his shoulder.  
“She's alive..?”  
“Yes, she’s in the inn with our things” 

Jaskier took his mare and started walking towards the inn in question, ignoring the step he heard confirming that Geralt was following him. Settling his horse in the stable and picking up his things, he followed Geralt to the room where the princess was waiting. Just before opening the door Jaskier finally allowed himself to look at Geralt and muttered “I’m not doing this for you or your conscience, but… she deserves better”  
He opened the door and soon enough had a little girl jumping at his neck. He picked her up easily and turn her in his arm, she was older now, bigger, but still so young.  
“Princess! What a delight to see you, it’s been far to long!”  
“Jask!” She exclaimed finally letting go. “You’re coming with us right?” He looked at Geralt then her and nodded.  
“of course dear heart, who would give you music lessons if not.” She beamed clearly relief to have a familiar face accompanying her travel, and turn smiling at Geralt.  
“Geralt, what happened to your face?”  
“I.. fell..?” He answered touching he forming bruise on his jaw, she looked at him strangely before picking up her cloak and ready herself for their travel. 

They had 2 weeks before reaching the keep, the only interaction Jaskier and Geralt had where about camp and her safety, a bit too polite for the two best friend she thought they where. The story she heard from Jaskier where always told with a slight sadness in his voice and she saw Geralt trying to talk to Jask many time before deciding against it. She was only 13 but she knew better then to address the subject with either on of them, she didn’t want to brake the small peace they created while traveling together. It all came to an abrupt stop one week later, when their camp got attacked by a wyvern.

Jaskier first though was to take Ciri with him and get as far as he could from camp, without looking back. They settle down in a small clearing and he begged her too stay quiet and hidden behind a big rock. She kept asking g about Geralt, what if he gets hurt? You have to help him Jaskier! What if he doesn’t come back? How are we going to get up the mountain?  
“Dear heart listen to me, I’m going to help Geralt, but you have to promise me to stay hidden here you hear me? Even if it’s been an hour, even if it get dark, on of us will come get you, do you understand?”  
“I promise!” she settled back behind the rock and Jaskier gave her his cloak before taking off running toward the scream of the monster.

Geralt was trying to fight the beast off of their horses, while trying to protect himself from the sharp claws it was waving at him. At that moment Jaskier got an idea, a stupid idea, but it’s not like they had time for a better plan before Roach or Pegasus end up eaten by the beast. So he took a piece of wood on the ground and threw at the monster while screaming “come at me you stupid fuck”. The creature and Jask locked eyes and it descended right onto him clawing at his arm he putted on his chest for protection. It’s mouth came inches to close to his face and just before Jask readies himself to be beheaded by the beast, he heard the sound of flesh being sliced and the hold on his arm released, when the beast fell he had barely time to jump to side before it landed on the ground. The adrenaline of winning a fight and escaping death made him smile a little but it only lasted long.

“Are you crazy! What’s wrong with you! Why couldn’t you just stay out of trouble ! You could’ve died “ Geralt started screaming at him.  
“I just save your life you ignorant!” Geralt face calmed a little bit Jaskier knew he was still enraged.  
“Show me your arm”  
“I’m fine, take that thing away before Ciri come back I’m going to go look for her” then he started walking back in the forest shoulders and head high not wanting to show any injury to Geralt, even though he felt like his arm was on fire. He couldn’t believe the audacity of this man, the week prior made him trust that Geralt maybe changed a little bit by having to take care of Ciri and that maybe they could settle for some kind of mutual respect between them, but no Geralt had to break that once again. 

When they both came back to camp there was no trace left of the monster, Geralt had his medical salves and some bandages next to him. He motioned Jaskier to come sit closer, then started to take care of his wounded arm. The tension in the air was palpable and even Ciri didn’t dare to say anything. Geralt was the first to break the silence.  
“Thank you… for helping me..”  
“yeah..” Jaskier didn’t want to look at him in the eyes and the moment Geralt finished bandaging his arm he got up to join Ciri

“Jask? How are you going to play with your arm?” she said with a little pout.  
“Well little flower I guess I wont be able to play, but since I’ve showed you so much maybe it’s your turn to be the bard of this little group" she started giggling a little bit.  
“C’mon I don’t know how to play like you do! Will you still sing to me"  
“Of course I will, come on lay down on your bedroll I have the perfect song for you"  
When he started singing, Geralt could feel his own tense shoulders slack. Jaskier still sang most of the time with Ciri but always made sure to be as far away from him as possible. 

Geralt knew he made a mistake the moment he saw him walk away on the top of that mountain, he tried many time to go talk to him, when ever he heard of the famous bard close, but he always ended up frozen in place. Why should he drag Jaskier back in his mess when he finally got out, when he was finally safe. But that changed the moment he heard the Nilfgaard where not only looking for a little girl and a Witcher but a bard too. It took a months to find him, and then only a week for Geralt to fuck it up again. He was planning on apologizing, he had been planning since that day, of every thing he would say to make sure Jaskier understood how important he was to him, but words where hard and he didn’t even know if he deserved to be forgiven. 

“I don’t know what happened between the two of you but you should do something about it" Ciri's voice bounced on the silence of the night where Jaskier fell asleep next to her exhausted from the fight, she was looking directly at him. “He look angry at you, but I know he’s just sad"  
“ You should sleep cub, tomorrow we have a long way up the mountain” Geralt’s answer clearly didn’t satisfied her enough but she turn and lay back down to do as she was told. 

The last week of their travel was way more silent then the first, Jaskier decided on not talking to Geralt at all, and Ciri was too cold to keep chattering with him. It struck Geralt how close they where, but when he learn that Jaskier had spend at least a month every 13 years with her telling story of the white wolf and grand adventure, he understood once again how wrong he was. For Jaskier to make sure she was well taking care of even without him, and dealing with his child of surprise while he was trying to escape his own destiny. He felt like a coward, and an asshole, the realization struck him so hard he nearly stopped to explain himself to the other man right there, but he knew he had to wait for them to be safely in the keep well fed and less exhausted. Only some hours left and he would finally be home. 

The giant gates in front of the keep stopped them in there tracks, given Jaskier the time to fully appreciate the view of the magnificent ruin of Kaer Morhen. “beautiful" he muttered more to himself then anyone self. Only some seconds later and the gates where opening allowing them entry to the castle, an old Witcher stood in front of them and two others where walking there way.  
“My boy! “ He said hugging Geralt in a thigh grip that would’ve certainly crushed anyone without mutation “and you brought guest!”  
Ciri took off her cloak and nodded towards the stranger  
“Hi little cub, I’m Vesemir”  
Jaskier took of his cloak too ready to present himself to the older wolf when someone interrupted him.  
“Julek!” He turned so fast towards the voice he would recognized anywhere and there stood mountain of a man, with a heart twice as big, Jaskier never though he would see him again with the war going all around the continent.  
“Eskel!!” He dropped everything he was holding in his hands and jumped on the man who catches him easily, Eskel turned him around while tightening his hug before letting him.  
“I tried to find you but you weren’t in Oxenfurt, I though I lost you in the war" Eskel voice was wavering a little but he didn’t really care, he had mourn at the lost of Julian, thinking him dead somewhere. Their hand still holding onto each other scared to let go and realized any of this wasn’t real. “What are you doing here? Are you hurt ? You must be cold!”  
“what am I doing here? What are you doing here I though Witcher hated each other, I cant believe I get to see you again!” Jaskier answered with a voice holding as much emotion as Eskel. 

“What the fuck" Geralt’s voice broke them from there spell and everyone turned towards him. “why did you called him Julek, is name is Jaskier”  
“no his name is Julian Alfred Pankratz, he’s a professor at Oxenfurt” Eskel answered him while still holding onto Julian's hand. Geralt was giving Jaskier a look as if to say “go tell him he's wrong” and that’s when he decided to explain.  
“Actually my birth name was Julian Alfred Pankratz Viscount of Lettenhove, then I became professor at Oxenfurt, but on the road I’m called Jaskier best known bard of the continent” Both Eskel and Geralt where looking at him like he had grown a second head. 

“Wait wait wait wait wait ! So you’re telling me, that you are the prissy professor Eskel as been clearly in love with the last 20 years!” Eskel turn to glare at the other man who hadn’t presented him self yet. “But you are also Geralt’s annoying bard!” And at that he exploded laughing while walking towards him. “I’m Lambert” he said while holding out his hand “and I just know you and I are gonna be great friends!" 

Jaskier took his hand without saying a word before turning around to look at Geralt, who frankly looked like he was about to have a stroke. 

“Lambert, come inside with us, I think the three of them need to talk" Vesemir took Lambert by the arm before he could protest and Ciri followed them inside, leaving Jaskier to the most awkward conversation he was about to have. 

“I’m sorry, I should’ve told you, but you told me that no one hates a Witcher more then an other Witcher, and it would be dangerous for me to tell people I knew you! I didn’t know you went from the same school as Geralt” Jaskier was fully looking at Eskel now completely ignoring him, he couldn’t believe it. 

“You where MY bard for 20 years” he ended up saying.  
“Oh shush Geralt, I’m not talking to you” Jask answered without even a glance. Ok fine maybe he deserved that, he looked at Eskel for some kind of support but even him was fully looking at Jaskier like Geralt just wasn’t part of the discussion. 

“I’m not mad at you Julek, I’m just surprised” at that comment Eskel finally glance towards Geralt “you see I would’ve never guessed Geralt’s bard and you could be the same person from what I’ve heard” His tones was not cold, but a little darker. 

“So you’ve been fucking my brother for hell knows how long and I don’t deserve and explanation?” Finally Geralt got Jaskier’s attention, he turned around, the look on his face made Geralt regret his comments immediately. 

“You! Didn’t even know my real name, I’ve told you many time, hell I’ve told you all about Oxenfurt, don’t act like you care about any of this because you don’t. You lost the fucking right to an explanation the day you told me you’d rather have me dead then as your friend! You knew exactly the words to say to have me out of your life, but you waited 20 years before acting on it, you made me look like a fool, an idiot, believing that we where friends, and that I was not the “annoying bard" following you everywhere” At the end of his speech Jaskier picked up his thing and guided his horse to the small stable he spotted earlier. 

When he was finally out of reach Eskel walked closer to his brother, who was still looking rather shocked. 

“really Geralt? Even for you that’s low” And with that Eskel was gone too, leaving him alone with Roach, who herself, wasn’t looking very found of him right now. 

When Geralt finally regained his thoughts and walked towards the stable both of the man where out of site. He took some time taking care of Roach, making sure she was ok and gave her a good brushing before heading toward the castle. 

“ I should be thanking you, you know" Eskel said looking at Jaskier “ for the song, I’ve never been treated better then since you started singing about Witcher“  
They where both relaxed in a common area in front of a fire place, Eskel hand found Jaskier's and they locked eyes once again.  
“You know maybe I should’ve gone with you the first time we met, I have the feeling things would have been easier, better" He brought Jask hand to his mouth and left a lingering kiss on his skin before answering.  
“I don’t believe that to be what destiny had planned for you"  
“I don’t believe destiny is at all interested in my fate if I’m being completely honest" Jask answered with a laugh.  
“I don’t believe someone could not be interested in your fate” Jaskier couldn’t help the blush that spread on his cheeks.  
“and they say I’m a flirt” That made Eskel laugh a little.  
“If I could stop I don’t think I would”  
“you better not” Jaskier answered before laying his head on Eskel lap, “I missed you" 

Nineteen years ago 

Eskel was exhausted, covered in grime and dirt and the world around him wouldn’t stop spinning. He just finished a contract on two Bruxa and had to go back to the university of Oxenfurt to receive his coins. The fight was hard, one Bruxa is enough to worry a Witcher, two is a suicide mission, but the coins had been low and the headmaster seemed desperate to not put his student in more danger then they where. He couldn’t even see if he was getting closer since the night sky was cover in clouds and his mind felt like cottons, the more his mare, Scorpion, kept going, the more he felt as if he would faint. Eskel had just the time to recognize the building in front of him before he fell from his horse. As the world started to fade he saw the dark mark of red on his saddle and realized he had been loosing blood the whole ride, and that was the last though that crossed his mind before everything turned black.

The first thing his mind registers was the singing, a faint humming of an old song he remembered hearing decades ago. Then the light slowly appeared behind his eyelids, the last sense to come to him was the smell, a pleasant aroma of rose, parchment, chamomile and a little bit of mint. When he finally opened his eyes he was met with someone turn away from him, a long masculine figured with chestnut hair. Eskel tried to sit up but the movement alerted the other he was awake, the man turn toward him surprised and then smiled.  
“Not yet handsome I’m not done” the stranger said calmly while putting his hand gently on his shoulders laying him back in the bed. His voice was melodious and his scent held no fear or disgust, he delicately applied salves on his chest and Eskel couldn’t stop looking at the motions. Long and pretty finger moving methodically on the long gash he had in the middle of his torso, the man then begun to bandaged him the best as he could while Eskel was still laying down. When he finished the task, his healer finally looked at him in the eyes and the only word that came to Eskel’s mind was beautiful, piercing blue eyes and a gentle smile on a young but mature face. He must have said it out loud because the next thing he heard was the stranger laughing quietly.  
“Here sweetheart, drink this, you’ve been out for more then 2 days" Eskel took the glass of water he was offered and drank slowly. “I’m professor Julian, I found you outside on the ground”  
“Julian” Eskel repeated like an idiot, “Eskel” He cleared his throat and tried again “I’m Eskel"  
“Enchanted master Eskel, I hope I didn’t over stepped, but I went recovering your payment for the Bruxa, it’s right there on the table, I just couldn’t let those horrible head get near my chamber.” Eskel was once again shocked into silence, there sat the man who had to be the prettiest person he ever saw, who healed his wound, offered him shelter and kindness.  
“Don’t worry, I made sure the headmaster gave you more then you agreed on, since you got injured “ Julian quickly added.

“I don’t know how I could ever repay you” 

“Next time you come by Oxenfurt, I wish for you to tell me about one of your adventures” 

Seventeen years ago

The sun was starting to sink in the sky and the air was cold, Julian had just finished his last lecture and was currently classing the rest of his note inside of his bag.

“I never heard someone talking about poetry with such passion before” someone said at his door, Julian recognized immediately that deep and gravelly voice.

“Eskel! What brings you to this side of the continent?” he said while turning around to greet the Witcher. 

“I had a contract not to far and thought I would pass by Oxenfurt to see if you where still here” 

“ Well here I am!” the professor said cheerfully “would you have time for a drink? You could tell me about this contract!” the Witcher laughed a little then nodded, following him to his little university apartment. 

“I don’t think someone ever asked me to tell them about a contract before" 

“want can I say, I’m a creator of story in deep need of inspiration” Julian retorted amicably.

They reached the outside of the school ground where Eskel’s horse was waiting, Julian looked at him asking for permission before walking over to the stallion and touching his mane. Scorpion nuzzled at the professor a little before eating the apple that was being handed to him. The stallion was impressively big and completely black except for the little white spot on his muzzle, Julian loved horses he used to have one when he lived in Lettenhove. 

“I see I’ve been easily replaced” Eskel said behind him. Julian laughed and kept petting the horses until a loud bleat coming from one of the saddle bag scared him. He jumped a little colliding with the large chest of the Witcher, who secured him with a hand on his waist. 

“oh Melitele, I’m sorry" he said quickly, his face turning red at the feeling of the other’s hand on him. 

“Don’t worry it’s only my goat” Eskel explained opening the bag in question revealing a cute little goat “her name is Lil'bleatler, she’s a menace” when he turned around to look at Julian, the other was looking at him with a soft look on his face and a blush still on his cheeks. Eskel cleared his throat, not use to people looking at him that way, he was a not only a Witcher, but a disfigured one. The only time people look at him in the eyes he see disgust and pity, he never saw the professor giving him any of those looks. 

“She is quite adorable does she like apple too?” He nodded again trying to find is words, but he got lost again when he saw the beaming smile Julian had feeding the little goat Eskel found not too long ago. 

They made their way to the stable, and Eskel took his bags before letting Julian guide him towards his house. The apartment was exactly like he remembered, it was small but homey, the door led to a room with a big library full with books and instruments, a big desk with ink stains next to the bedroom door. The place was full of candle and incent, Eskel didn’t understand how he could feel so at ease in a place he’s only been twice. Julian came back from his room, in comfier clothes, with a bottle of wine and sat in front of the fire place.

“Now you must tell me everything” he said while Eskel sat beside him.

“Well the fight started at night..” and then the Witcher began explaining is contract with all the details he could think of, from his deduction on the creature to the weather of the day. The discussion didn’t end there, both of them started telling the other about their year and misadventures. Julian was always very tactile, touching his knee when he laughed and taking his hand to demonstrate something, the more the time passed and the hotter the Witcher grew, basking in the little touch he was receiving. At some point in the night they finished the bottle and Julian was laying down on the fur looking at him explaining how he found Lil’bleatler, the soft snort he got when he told him she tried to intimidate his horse, stopped him in his story and he found himself staring at the other man. They looked at each other for some time before Eskel realized what he was doing and turn his head.  
“It’s late songbird, I should probably go..” he tried to reasoned himself while standing up. Julian stood up too, he took his hand trying to debate him.

“you could stay, like you said, it’s pretty late" 

“Where would I stay you only got one bed?” He looked at the room, Julian smiled a little at the naivety of the man before taking a step closer slowly allowing the Witcher to back away if he wanted.

“Is that a problem?” Julian answered slowly, He brought his free hand too place a strand of hair behind Eskel’s hear. Every nerve in the Witcher's body started to tingle and he felt his pulse quicken, he placed his hand on the other man waist, taking a step closer himself, they where close enough to share the same breath. The blue in Julien irises nearly disappeared completely. He now smelled spicier like cinnamon and Eskel had to restrain himself from nuzzling at his neck. 

“You can’t want that.” Julian couldn’t possibly see him that way, Eskel thought. The hand that was in his hair rested on his scarred cheek, Julian caressed his face gently.

“you’re eyes shine like gold, I’ve never seen them this close” Julian thumb delicately touched his lips, and Eskel couldn’t take his eyes of the other’s mouth. 

“can I? I’ve been dying to kiss you since you entered my class room" Julian only had to breath a soft “please” at the end before Eskel lost all his conviction and crashed their mouth together. 

The kiss started slowly but soon grew heavier when Julian clung himself on Eskel’s neck and slipped his hand back in the Witcher’s hair. Eskel had fantasized about the professor since the first time he felt his hand on him carefully tending his wounds, but he knew better then to hope for a man as pretty to even look at him twice. The kiss felt so unreal to him he expected to wake up in camp at any moment, the soft moan Julian gave him brought him back to reality and he took a hold of his thighs to lift him easily.

“Oh fuck” Julian muttered locking his leg on the Witcher’s waist, sucking on his neck. “ That’s so fucking hot" 

Eskel carried him to his bedroom, knowing he was about to loose his composure in the middle of the other man’s living room. He gently putted him on the bed before towering over him while taking of his shirt. Julian eyes where stuck on his chest where most of his scars where and he slowly brought his hand to touched them. 

“We.. we don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to” Eskel didn’t want to look at him in the eyes, he knew very well his scars where not his greatest attributes. 

“If you stop right now I fear I might never forgive you" The smell of his lust finally reached Eskel and convinced him enough to capture the man’s lips once again. 

Sixteen years ago 

Eskel was working the nerve to go see the Professor again, he knew they parted on great terms, Julian even told him he would love to see him again. But this time Eskel had no excuse for his presence in the area, if it was not to see the man he couldn’t get off his mind. His smile, his laugh, the soft moans he made that night, his hands and legs, every memory clinging to him all the times. When his brothers learned about his yearning for the man he met twice, both of them called him an hopeful idiot. It’s not like he blamed them, why would anyone want to spend time with a Witcher, the only other person he knew not to despite them was the foolish bard his brother told him about.  
He got up ready to go back on his horse, who was he kidding, soft promises made in the afterglow didn’t mean anything. He descended the hill, stopped, then came back on his tracks. But Julian did ask him to come back, it would be rude not to at least say hello while he’s there. He growled dropping the reins of his mare, he once killed a basilisk from the inside, didn’t even hesitated before jumping in the mouth of the beast. And now he was having second thoughts on every decision he was making regarding the sweet professor. 

Lifting his eyes to the sky and clearing his thoughts, Eskel heard a commotion ahead the little road he was on. Deciding to go see for himself what was happening he hopped on his horse and then heard a scream. 

“Shut up!” 

Arriving at the scene, he decided to sneak by the forest, thinking it was better not to reveal his position just yet, Eskel saw four man circling someone holding swords. By the look of them it was clear they where bandit, dirty and covered in all kind of weapons.

“That’s all you’ve got! HA, I know children who punch better then you" Julian! One of the man moved to the side and that’s when he saw him. he was wearing light trouser and his blouse was half open revealing his chest hair, he had some blood on the side of his mouth and a bruise was already starting to form.  
One of the man gripped his sword hard lifting it ready to struck a blow and Eskel whole body alighted with rage.

“I wouldn’t do that if I where you" His tone was cold, firm and made everyone turned towards him, his swords where already out. He knew that even if he wasn’t a Witcher he would have been intimidating towering on the men, the fight wasn’t really fair, he knew it, but no one touched Julian without consequences. 

“we have no business with you Witcher” one of the man tried to debate “we are just setting and argument, go along your path” 

“Eskel!” Julian exclaimed.  
The bandit took a look at them before slowly backing away realizing their mistake, but Eskel started to walk towards them glaring and still furious. They had ripped the professor from his cloak and attacked him. The men started running and he was ready to go after them but Julian stopped him before he could. 

“Don’t worry sweetheart” He tried to reassured him “they only took my cloak, it was an old thing anyway” 

Eskel was still snarling in the direction the bandit took, but his anger died down the moment Julian embraced him. The feeling of the other man in his arm relaxed him instantly and the smell of chamomile and roses filled his nose once again. He returned the hug before taking his own cloak and putting it on the professor. Eskel wiped the blood he had on his face before allowing himself to smile.

“What are you doing alone in the forest Julek?” 

“I was trying to find some herbs for an fellow professor” he said cheerfully “ what brings you to Redania, an other contract? “ 

“I came to see you actually, I was headed to Kaeden, but I wanted to come by" Julian's happy smile dropped a little and he turn to stare in shock at the Witcher.

“ so you took a 3 week detour? To see me?” Julian didn’t know what to say, sure he’d hope Eskel would pass by in a year or two, but for him to have gone out of his way to meet again. A warm feeling started to spread in his chest and he felt his cheeks reddened. 

“Erhmm.. I did, yes" Eskel was not looking at him this time,

“well then come along handsome, I know a small clearing where we could make camp and relaxed little, your cloak is very warm but I wouldn’t say no to a small fire" Eskel picked up back his swords to hide them in his saddle bag, and followed Julian on the path.  
When they arrived at destination, Julian immediately started to work on the fire, his work was efficient and fast, proof of an other life of traveling. Eskel had heard stories about Julian’s travel, in quest of inspiration for his music and books, following some knight. He was an ignorant and an asshole if you asked Eskel, having Julian as a companion and still treating him like dirt, maybe it was a knight thing, nobility and all that. He secured scorpion on a tree before looking for his kettle and some dried meat.

“tell me dear heart could you help me light the fire?” Eskel turned around with his things and casted a small Igni, before starting to boiled some water for tea. “Here you go, it’s yours after all" Julian tried to give Eskel his cloak back, but he refused. 

“I don’t want you to get cold, you can have it” He offered him some dried meat, still avoiding his gaze, he couldn’t believe he actually told the professor the reason for his visit.

“where is my Lil’bleatler? I must say I missed her terribly” As if Julian’s word awoken her she started bleating for the saddle bag she was in. When Eskel retrieved her she happily trotted towards him, greeting Julian by chewing on his trousers. “Look at you!” he cooed “I have to tell you, your visit is the greatest gift I’ve received this year” he told the goat, a shy smile appeared on Eskel’s face and he forgot about his doubts.

Some hours later while they where both laying on the bedroll, Julian’s head resting on his chest, Eskel tested his fate again. 

“Maybe Lil’bleatler and I could come by next year too, if…if you would like that?" 

“I would love it” he answered him simply, like he did not just gave Eskel the moon.

Two years ago

“I want you to come with me, traveling with me, I could protect you, show you places you’ve never been before, I am greedy and spending a week with you every year as been far more then what I though I could have but I want more, you know I love you” at every word Eskel took a step closer, hoping, he knew Julian’s love for him was real, but he knew that Julian’s had planned to meet his travel companion this summer too. 

“ Eskel.. He needs my help, He’s alone now and I can’t leave until he finished what he started, I want nothing more then to come with you, you must know that” Julian’s hand reached for his face gently putting his forehead to the other’s. “come back to me next year and ask me again, ask me again and I will, I promise, I just need more time” 

The kiss the shared felt like a goodbye, bittersweet for both of them knowing they’ll only see each other the next year. Eskel wrapped his arm around him remembering every detail from his face to his scent for the months hell spend alone.

“I’ll give you anything, and if what you need is a year I will gladly wait for you" 

One year ago

Please, it was all Eskel could think about, please please please, his horse was running and his heart was beating the fastest it ever did, behind him the university was on fire and there was no one near except cadaver. He knew Julian’s apartment wasn’t to far, but it felt like hour before he came running inside. 

“JULIAN!” nothing answered him, the apartment was a mess everything of values was taking and the rest was laying on the ground. He kept searching inside room to room hoping he’d see his face somewhere, and then it downed on him, the chance of Julian’s surviving this attack was slime, nearly impossible, he saw the army walking some village over way to big for some village or city. 

“No…no, no, no" he was kneeling near his bed, holding onto one of his scarf, Eskel wasn’t new to pain, he felt with it every day, but this kind of pain was eating him from the inside to similar from the trial, to close to his heart. One year he had told him, one year.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is so fucking corny I can't believe I wrote this, welp here goes nothing

Days turned into weeks before he realized it, hiding in the forest staying away from army marching and destroying villages, if he could help he would but he had to tell everyone at the keep what was going on. Even as time went by the feeling stayed the same, like a part of him had been ripped out and nothing could replace it. Julian’s scarf was still tightly wrapped around one of his belt and every time he caught a glimpse of it the memory of the burning university glows behind his eyelids. 

“C’mon Esk! It’s a festival, you are suppose the wear the flowers!”   
“so I can’t give you anything but you bring me gifts every years, and how exactly is that fair?”   
“What the fuck did you just say about Witcher!?”  
“maybe you haven’t realized how in love with you I am!”   
“A face like yours deserved way more then one song dear”

The memory clinging to him like never before, because he knew he wouldn’t be able to make new ones. He should’ve persisted, asked him to come with him before that, he should’ve done something, anything. 

When he finally reached the mountain, he allowed himself to cry, for the first time since he realized he’d lost him, he felt safe enough to let himself go. For the first time in centuries he left the first tear run down to his chin, it felt good, to finally let go, let himself feel. 

The first few days at the keep no one asked what happened, the scent of sorrow still clinging onto him, and his usual easy smile had disappeared. Lambert was worried, and for him that said a lot, of course he cared about his brothers but he was more the type to ignore a situation then talking about it. Vesemir let him wallow in his room without bothering him knowing he needed time, knowing the war had been hard on everyone. They didn’t know where Geralt was, usually he arrived before everyone but soon the path would be close and Lambert didn’t know if he would be able to deal with Eskel without Geratl’s help.

“Boys! Your brother is here” Vesemir voice resonating through the castle as Lambert and Eskel got ready to greet their brother at the gates. 

He was with two other people wearing thick cloak over their faces, the little princess looked at him for a second before saluting Vesemir and then the other stranger took his cloak off. Time stopped, well for Eskel that’s how it felt like, Julian, blue eyes, shy smile, Chesnutt hair and a strong scent of chamomile, rose, parchment and mint. It wasn’t possible, how did his brother found him, what was he doing here, how was he still alive, he was still alive. 

“Julek!!” their eyes lock and the same incredulous look was on his face, seconds later he had his arm full of him and the missing piece he took with him settle back in his chest. 

It’s only later that night in the safety of his bed that he confessed what happened months earlier. 

“I cant believe you traveled with Geralt for all those years.”  
“I cant believe he’s your brother, you two couldn’t be more different, I’ve never seen a man run so fast from his emotion” as if someone just flipped a switch the sound of screaming and a building burning resonated in his hear once again and his arm tightened around Julian’s body “Eskel..?” 

“I’m sorry, I.. I’m ok, now" The professor’s eyes found his and he lowered his gaze. “I though you died… I.. I didn’t know what do you, I was lost” Julian’s finger came scratching his scalp and that gave him some courage to keep going “the university was on fire, I looked for you through the corpses, I went to your house but you weren’t there.. it took me 3 days before going out of your house, I couldn’t move, I don’t want to lose you again Julek, I can’t”   
“good thing I’m not going anywhere then, you promised me a year, and I believe now it will be near impossible to get ride of me”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I make Geralt apologize???   
> Should Jaskier forgive him???   
> Should I write some Jaskier/lambert shenanigans???

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading I changed it a bit and added some stuff I hope you liked it as much as I loved writing it, please tell me how to get better I LOVE constructive criticism, 🥰🥰🥰


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